Letting go... 2012 so far.

My Mother always told me that how you spend your New Year's Eve/Day is a reflection of how you will spend your year. As a child, I spent each and every NYE/Day surrounded by my family, and at least every other weekend surrounded by them as well. I grew up, got engaged and then married and those NYE's were spent waiting for the (ex) hubby to get off work, while surrounded by family, drinking and thinking about how my life sucked. And again...the year was spent doing the same.

The end of 2011 rolls around. I'm as single as can be and quite glad about it.  Plans are made to party with the girls like it's 1999. Dinner, drinks, and lots of friends gathering to say adios to the drama filled 2011. If this was a reflection of how my 2012 was going to end up, I was off to a good start. However...things took a turn when an argument started and we needed to bolt from a party 10 minutes before midnight. When the clock struck 12 am, I was driving down loop 410, headed to a friends house to salvage the night. *sigh* I decide to take this as a sign that 2012 was going to be my year of traveling...and cleaning (since I spent part of my night also cleaning out my car).

Fast forward to now. I've taken a cruise to Cozumel, road tripped to Austin, New Braunfels and Port Aransas. I'm planning a Fall trip to Phoenix to visit some awesome people, and planning a Summer 2013 trip to visit my sisters in Missouri/Kansas. Sweetness, right?

Dig a little deeper...into the cleaning. I've started cleaning up my diet, getting into shape by running and working out on a more regular basis. I've stopped putting up with people's bs and started living for me. Negative and toxic people (for the most part) have been eliminated and my life finally feels like its on track- especially after the crap last night.

The ever present guy friend (see post: Heartbreak and Tattoos) and I finally mended our friendship to some extent. However, I realized that just because we could be friends again, didn't mean that we should be. A mindless comment lead to a confrontation which led to an argument bigger than either of us could imagine. As a result, a decision was made to walk out from each others lives. It was for the best, but when it happened, I couldn't help but want to cry and take back my actions. But I didn't , and I'm glad because I came across this and suddenly it all made sense.

I believe people come into our lives for certain reasons at certain times. When the lesson has been learned, they leave and holding on to them stalls the growing process and their presence becomes toxic for all involved. His presence in my life was wonderful and amazing and he helped me realize that i'm quite the amazing girl. However, us hanging onto what was and what could have been tore me apart and into a million little pieces. But, like the picture says...I learned that i'm stronger than I think.

I'll forever be grateful for the lessons I learned from this person. However it's time to let go, and throw out the trash.

Cheers to letting go of the trash, the toxic and the meaningless bs that brings us down. Cheers to living free.


xo
-Julie